Pet The Dog, Feed The Dog (Terrible Quest Design)

Any Everquest 2 player who’s ever betrayed from Qeynos to Freeport will know exactly what I’m referring to with this post’s title. For those of you who don’t, let me explain.

Players in EQ2 can choose to betray their resident city and join the opposing faction and, in order to do so, they must complete a series of laborious quests that in total take several hours. Yep, it harks back to the days of the original Everquest and that thing called faction (which Vanguard tried to resurrect and failed miserably in). So, once you’ve completed a series of quests to leave your city, you then have to farm faction quests in order to become ‘amiable’ with your new city and then finally complete another series of quests to gain your new citizenship.

Although repetitive and massively unnecessary this entire process isn’t actually too bad (even though it will consume at least 2 hours of your life which you will never get back) because at least you’re actively doing something the entire time. That is, however, until you encounter one of the final quests called ‘Learning Your Place In Freeport‘.

This quest sees your EVIL character challenged with petting and feeding a stray dog. Yep, you really are that EVIL. Not only does it really make no sense whatsoever in the context of game world, it’s probably the worst designed quest I ever encountered in any MMORPG ever. Here’s what you have to do:

  • Summon the dog
  • Right click on the dog and select either ‘feed’ or ‘pet’
  • Pause
  • Right click on the dog and select either ‘feed’ or ‘pet’
  • Repeat for 10 minutes
  • Right click on the dog and select either ’sit’ or ‘play dead’
  • Pause
  • Right click on the dog and select either ’sit’ or ‘play dead’
  • Repeat for 10 minutes

I shit you not.

The entire process takes about 20 minutes. That’s 20 minutes of right clicking on a fricking dog and either feeding or petting it or commanding it to play dead or sit.

Here’s what your screen will look like:

This is only a fraction of the actual clicks I had to do

This is only a fraction of the actual clicks I had to do

And just when you think it has to finish sometime soon (oh God please let it finish), it just keeps going.

Screaming out of frustration

Screaming out of frustration is an often occurance during this quest

Eventually, after smashing your face against the monitor, you get a small sense of satisfaction.

Die dog, die! Muahahahah!

Buddy, my now loyal and obedient pet dog, gets introduced to Mr Stomp, my right boot

Even though I’ve done this quest several times before, it never, ever gets any less frustrating or repetitive. It’s terrible quest design and whoever designed it should be strapped to a chair and forced to do it once a day for the rest of their lives…. heck, I’d settle for forcing them to do it once because they clearly never have.

Anyone else got any tails of misery at the hands of poor quest design? I’m pretty sure this one takes the biscuit.

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5 Comments

  1. stargrace says:

    I dislike this quest SO much (and it takes forever) that I decided to betray to Neriak and /or Kelethin and then just obtain citizenship for Freeport / Qeynos afterwards which is far less painful (and knocks about 2 hours off of the quest time). There have been many times I contemplated getting to this point in the quest and just staying neutral as an exile to keep the dog, too.

    The betrayal quests have been revamped a few times now, I actually prefer the old old method of killing a bunch of named and 500 mobs (which took forever back in the day) to this new faction based method. Of course the newer cities (Neriak, Kelethin, Gorowyn) have newer quests that are easier to do then the Qeynos and Freeport ones too.

  2. Grump says:

    You are lucky, when I betrayed to an Inquisitor, it took me 72 minutes to complete this. 72 minutes of yelling at the screen, right clicking,
    I am a very impatient person.

    right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click, right click………..

    Don’t worry, you are not the only one who hates this..

  3. Gordon says:

    I have to say I preferred the old method too. I don’t really like the faction grinding stuff either but it wasn’t too bad because the guards weren’t aggro.

    I was going to betray another character… but now I might just wait a while :)

  4. JC says:

    Yeah, I did that once after they made the changes to the old “Kill 500 Orcs” quests.

    I’ve since only betrayed to Neriak. . . .

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