Husband Picks Wife Over Orc; WoW More Addictive Than Cocaine

These absurd headlines are of course from The Scottish Sun, a tabloid so devoid of intellect it could make a cockroach look like Stephen Hawking. Of course it’s good for a laugh sometimes. And page 3.

A Scottish Couple And There Orc

A Scottish Couple And Their Orc

The cleverly titled article “It’s him Orc me” was published on Monday and is a story about a Scottish man who, for the past six years, owned a 6ft full size statue of an Orc from World of Warcraft until his wife forced him to give it away, threatening to leave him if he didn’t. Tough call. Of course the really impressive thing is that he’s managed to own the statue longer than the game’s even been released.

But The Sun isn’t just a newspaper just about delivering saucy lifestyle information. No sir, it’s also there to deliver real facts. Apparently experts have now discovered, using science, that World of Warcraft is more addictive than crack cocaine. Great. Now I’ve got to give up both of them.

Yet the saddest thing of all? The Sun is the most popular newspaper in Scotland.

P.S. Thanks to ‘office jerk’ from the comments section of this Keen and Graev post for pointing out the first article to me.

P.P.S. If anyone’s worrying about the Orc, don’t. It’s found a new home with another family in Aberdeen. Bless.

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18 Comments

  1. Marchosias says:

    Is it weird that I know someone with lifesize Chewbacca in their house? As for me, I think I’d have kept the Orc, that woman’s overbite is fierce! Or maybe it’s just the way they were photographed…

  2. Tesh says:

    That’s an ugly orc. Maybe it comes from WC3 or even 2, before they really nailed down the WoW style…

  3. Hel says:

    Wow… if she’s kicking up a fuss about a decoration already, how many more things are going to be “it’s it/them/hobby or me”? That’s a man well on his way to being “fixed” by his new wife. I suspect the orc wasn’t really that much of an issue, it was more a test to see how far she can push. There are women who do this sort of thing all the time. Why marry somebody you actually love when you get an “unfinished” one and push & mold him until he’s exactly what you want?

    If you ask me, marrying a guy who has a 6ft tall Orc statue is an added bonus! Wish my husband had come with one. Do a handful of Warhammer miniatures count? :)

  4. Stabs says:

    An Orc is for life, not just for Christmas.

  5. An orc or the wife?

    Guess it depends… how anatomically correct is the orc? ;)

    This has been your daily dose of mental scarring. You’re welcome. :)

  6. I have a life-sized Yoda statue from Episode II that we’re going to have to move in sometime soon. But my wife already said that we can’t have it in the living room.

  7. Pssst. This is totally not related to your post, but I just wanted to stop by and say that I have mad respect for someone who can catch a bunch of bloggers bad-mouthing him or her in another blog… and be totally mature and cool with it.

    I wish I were as cool as you.

    <3

  8. I know a person with a life-sized Lara Croft “Tomb Raider 1″ statue in his living room…but that is the only female “thing” ever been in there…sad story.
    lol

  9. Rose says:

    I don’t think it looks much like the orcs of WoW. He should get a refund.

  10. Abby Schildt says:

    Turns out Stephen Hawking has proof there is no God so it's all cool.

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