Getting A Greed Steed Without The Guilt

Transparent saddles instill terror in pedestrian belows

Transparent saddles instill terror in pedestrians belows

Like a small spoilt child obsessed with sparkly baubles, I felt a slight tingle in the back of my neck when Blizzard announced their latest money making venture, The Greed Steed (love that name). It had wings, it was a horse, it sparkled. If only it had breasts and a machine gun it would’ve been the summation of my entire adolescent desires. Still, after forking out a staggering £9/$14 for a Panda Monk pet last year (half of that did go to charity though so technically I did a good deed… uh huh), I was resolved in my moral stance not to buy one.

Note, I said my moral stance.

I started racking my brains on how I could possibly get someone else to buy me a Celestial Steed. I dared not ask my wife because the mere whiff of spending £17 on something that wasn’t even “real” would send her into a terrifying karate-powered blood lust, my parents had no idea what World of Warcraft even was and all of my friends were flat broke. That left my good old dearest brother.

Now I knew my target, I just had to think up a clever strategy to snare him. Late birthday present? Early Christmas gift? Maybe I could invent an imaginary holiday for us to celebrate? Eventually I asked the question on Twitter “I need to think up a way to convince my brother to buy me a Celestial Steed as a present. Any ideas?”. I got a multitude of fantastic answers ranging from pure madness or total malicious genius. Unfortunately none of them really suited the situation.

Eventually, after much deliberation, I settled on the simple and direct approach and used all of the cunning and guile I could muster to write him an elequent email which went along the lines of “can you please buy me one of these? kk, thx”. Two hours later my iPhone pinged with an email from the Blizzard Store.

Yep, that’s right, it worked. My brother and I now each own a Celestial Steed and spend our evenings romping around the stars trying desperately not to look like a homosexual couple.

So what’s the moral of this story? Don’t give Blizzard your hard earned money, give them someone else’s.

-Gordon

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26 Comments

  1. Wilhelm2451 says:

    I was actually going to skip the whole cash for ponies controversy after my comment on The Common Sense Gamer, but then I came up with “Greed Steed” and had to do something with that name. It works in a literal sense or in an ironic sense. A title for all seasons.

  2. Klepsacovic says:

    Which one of you is the fag hag in the relationship?

  3. openedge1 says:

    Now…THIS works.

    Reminds of the good ole days when I had my Uncle buy me cigarettes and booze…same diff actually.

  4. Longasc says:

    Nothing is wrong with homosexual couples, even if they are brothers, but two brothers buying each other a Celestial Steed means you have both earned a VIP place in the 5th circle of hell. :(

  5. I’m tempted to go buy one. I sold an article to seed.com, so I have a little disposable cash coming in and I’m tempted to buy either the Greed Steed (I love the name, too) or Final Fantasy XIII. I’m leaning toward FFXIII given my current trough-cycle regarding MMOs, but…it’s so shiny!

  6. GVNR says:

    Quote: So what’s the moral of this story? Don’t give Blizzard you hard earned money, give them someone else’s.

    This has to be the best perspective I have seen on this whole subject. I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

  7. Adam says:

    I didn’t deserve to wake up to this.

  8. amcl says:

    I’m getting wise to your mind games Gord ;)

  9. Nils says:

    I slowly tend to like this kind of microtransaction.
    In my opinion Blizzard should sell more mounts that I don’t have to see due to the DungeonFinder and get other people to subsidize my subscription. If players can even get relatives to pay for them, everybody will be happy.

    Besides: If out of chance I spot a player with the horse I can easily add him to my ignore list now. Until now there was no way to identify .. strange people; now there is. :)

  10. BWUAHAHHAHA

    I did the same thing :D

    I find out about it at work… go to my brother and exclaim I WANT A SPARKLY PONY.

    2 days later I get sparkly pony.

    My mental prowess over my younger brother still remains! Of course I did get him the job that let him buy me the mount.

  11. [...] well.  At least I didn’t have to make a deal with my brother or [...]

  12. River says:

    I did buy a Panda, he is awesome, and it was for charity. As for a mount, I would only buy a donkey, for my own personal Donkey Show.

  13. Sheer brilliance…

    But be honest, when you call the mount, don’t you feel guilty one bit?

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