Video Games And Freemasonry

Bet you wish you were a freemason after seeing this cool pic

Bet you wish you were a freemason after seeing this

I was quite impressed with the Scouting movement when I discovered that they’d introduced new badges related to video gaming. It definitely shows forward thinking and an understanding of the youth of today and I’ve got to commend the Scouts for finding a way to teach kids about responsible gaming.

Of course I’m too old to be a Scout any more (it would be a little creepy if I applied) but, as some readers may know, I am a Freemason which is basically the same thing as Scouting except for rich white men who control countries. However, as most lodges complain about not enough young people joining, I began pondering if Freemasonry could take a leaf out of the Scouts badge book and somehow make the whole thing more appealing to youngsters by integrating with video games.

Here are some of my ideas:

Replace the rituals with video game tournaments
Although much of Freemasonry is about history and remembering the past, young folk find the all of the rituals and services to be outdated and inefficient. Instead, lets have video game tournaments which we can be used to determine the rank of each member! FPS or beat-em-ups would be perfect for this and I can almost hear the chants of “two men enter, one man leaves” echoing throughout the halls.

Instead of degrees, have levels
The idea of degrees (ranks of Freemasonry) is so passé now and hard to follow. A much simpler solution would for each Mason to have a level, awarded and increased when they win tournaments. Fellow Masons could chime “ding” whenever someone levels up.

Online lodges
It’s the 21st century for crying out loud, we shouldn’t have to actually physically go somewhere in order to attend a meeting. Instead of old fashioned get-togethers in buildings, lets have virtual online lodges!

Freemason Facebook App
Farmville may be fun but it doesn’t help much when you’re trying to communicate secretly with the most powerful men on the planet. A Facebook app that requires a secret handshake to activate and lets Masons from all over the globe communicate and conspire would be just the ticket.

I know, all of these ideas sound a little crazy now, but just wait until it’s a picture of my all-seeing face on the one dollar bill. Anyway, I’ve gotta shoot off as I’m having dinner with John McCain and Warren Buffett followed by a discussion on what rich white men can do in order to remain rich white men.

-Brother Gordon

P.S. I’m thinking about starting a Freemasons guild in World of Warcraft. I wonder if I could get enough members?

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  3. Have MMOs Affected The Success Of Single Player Games?
  4. I’m A Freemason And I’m OK
  5. Game Life Balance


  1. Tesh says:

    “Fellow Masons could chime “ding” whenever someone levels up.”

    Worth the price of admission, that.

  2. spinks says:

    They could always open it up to women if they want more members.

  3. If you never see another blog post by Gordon, it was because the Freemasons had him disappeared.

    In a related story, I *love* the Freemasons. Their remix of Beyonce’s “Green Light” is kickass. That’s who you’re talking about, right?

  4. Stabs says:

    Quick question: how would you do the funny handshakes online?

  5. Tipa says:

    How would people get drunk with each other over the internet? And aside from heavy drinking and watching pornography, what do old rich white men DO when they get together anyway?

  6. Amcl says:

    worshipful master Gordon,

    Might I suggest that you could twink yourself with fancy gloves and a cool tabard!


  7. I’ve read The Lost Symbol. I know what you’re up to. Oh, wait, right. I read it, sure, but I still have no idea what it’s all about regarding freemasonry because it was a bunch of poppycock. ;)

    Btw, <3 satire, Gordon. Big ole <3.

  8. Jason says:

    Picked up your blog post on the secret Masonic network – okay I read it on a LinkedIn group. Love the idea, and as we have less levels than WOW I would get to the end-game a lot quicker.

    I was thinking that rather than having oaths of secrecy we could have spoiler alerts. But some of the penalties seem like they would fit right into a MMORPG. I am pretty sure some of the boss attacks are based on them.

    And we freemasons are very big into crafting, so I am guessing if we got organised we could certainly corner the market with crafted goods on the auction house.

    Yours fraternally

    • Gordon says:

      Thanks for the nice words :) I know the article is just a bit of fun but I actually think there’s a few good points behind it… the Masons do need to modernise a bit if it wants to attract younger members. Unfortunately it’s still seen as the realm for the older generation which is a bit of a shame.

      “And we freemasons are very big into crafting”

      ROFL :D

  9. Jason says:

    Ah if we are being serious, then I think you are right there is a need for a bit of modernisation. We have some bizarre rules about waiting for people to ask to join, which was okay a hundred years ago when you knew who the local masons were.

    We probably missed a trick with the Lost Symbol, which was very positive but a little off the mark.

    I am also based in Edinburgh so feel free to send me an email.

  10. Mahigan says:

    Any word on that WoW guild? Meeting other Freemason-gamers would be awesome, especially considering that most of the recent growth has been younger guys who grew up gaming and maybe want to consolidate their two favorite hobbies.

  11. Tim Gilson says:

    There are a few online virtual lodges; but it’s just not the same as meeting in a physical Masonic Temple.

  12. [...] zal zijn. Ik wil als vrijmetselaar in de maatschappij staan en niet in de toekomst een poppetje in een computerspel zoals deze site de toekomst van de vrijmetselarij heeft [...]

  13. Dan says:

    You need an AR app like Blackberry’s BBM app to highlight the brothers around you, may have a play and see what I can come up with!

  14. pascal elias says:

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  15. M says:

    I’d hope to assume this is a joke, if you are truly a freemason

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