Why I’m Scared Of Geeks
I’m a cool guy. That’s not bravado or arrogance talking, it’s just a plain ol’ fact. I’ve always been the cool kid, the one that all of the other nerds and dweebs looked up to and even now, in my advancing years, my coolness is intensifying rather than diminishing. The young bloods in my office look up to me like they’re Richie Cunningham and I’m the Fonz, waiting with baited breath for me to knock the SVN sever with my fist to get it started in the mornings. I was even the cool kid on my Computing course at University and the rest of the geeks used to tell of the legend about how once a real life girl actually talked to me. I suppose I can’t help it, I’m just that cool, definitely more Kirk than Picard.
I’ll let you into a little secret though: I’m terrified of some of the other geeks out there. In fact, they absolutely freak me out sometimes. I don’t know what it is about the computing hobby and profession that has a propensity to attract lonely, strange men who can’t quite fit into normal social circles and lack the basic skills to pick up on subtle social ques. Often tormented by their peers and unable to find a mate, they shun common society and hide away in the dark recesses of their computer caves, hacking away at Linux, devouring every video game they can find and scouring the web for blog articles written by other geeks comparing themselves to the Fonz.
Not that I’m generalising or anything. And yes, I know I’m being harsh and that there are very few geeks out there who actually conform to the stereotype I’ve just described above but admit it, you do know exactly the type of person I’m talking about. I’d even bet good money that’ve you’ve been cornered by some geek at a party once who spent the entire night telling you about how he just reinstalled Linux three times the night before in an attempt to increase performance by 0.01%, why Microsoft are more evil than the Nazis, why Ubuntu will one day become the most popular operating system on the planet and why Star Trek Voyager was actually a good show.
Most of these super-geeks are harmless enough and wouldn’t hurt a fly (and if they did try anything you could just recite Asimov’s first law and hope to God that they think they’re really a robot). However, for every few thousand harmless geeks out there there’s probably one real psycho geek who wouldn’t think twice about cutting your face off and wearing it like a mask if you wronged him online by kicking him from a guild, demeaning him on a forum or insinuated that the character of Janeway was a two-dimensional tart.
This is of course exactly why I’m against the idea of too much personal information being available on the Internet. Who knows who’s going to take something personal and seek revenge. It’s just plain scary.
Oh and I know I’ve been pretty free with my personal information on the web but that’s all about to change. From now on I shall be embracing the persona of Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez Emilio Estevez, a retired Mexican luchador who has just discovered the the world of MMOs and decided to write a blog about it all. Hola senior!