Starcraft 2 Bullet Point Review

Starcraft 2

After watching War of the Worlds for a 5th time, the Protoss decided to create the Colossus

Yes, I’ll admit it, much of my spare time has been occupied by Starcraft 2 recently. I don’t play that many single player games these days (MMORPGs are a full time hobby after all) but every so often one comes along that totally absorbs me and proves a nice change of pace from the traditional fantasy MMO. SC2 has definitely seized my attention by grabbing me by the gonads, leaning into my face and snarling ferociously so I thought it would be nice to share my thoughts about it in review form. Of course, seeing as we’re all busy folk, I’ve decide to write everything in nice concise bullet points. Think of it as a review by tweets.

  • Feels like the original Starcraft (that’s a good thing).
  • So polished you can see your face grinning back at you in it.
  • Someone watched Firefly a little too much.
  • Unlocking a new unit every mission, researching new technology, hiring mercenaries, upgrading units… lots of lovely little micro advances and upgrades to keep your OCD brain monkeys hooked.
  • Achievements are kinda cool. I think.
  • Starting to think Real ID is OK (I know, I know, I’m a sellout).
  • You have be able to connect to the Internet to sync your profile and play single player? WTF?
  • When the login was down I couldn’t continue my single player campaign. Makes Gordon sad.
  • So when’s Blizzard gonna make a standalone RPG using that lovely cutscene graphics engine?
  • Sucks how you can’t play Protoss and Zerg campaigns. I mean it really sucks.
  • All sides, units and structures are well balanced and very well thought about.
  • Gameplay is slick and unit building and upgrade paths are more initiative than in the original SC.
  • There is nothing original about the game.
  • Korean WoW subscribers get SC2 for free. Bastards.
  • OK, OK, I get it Blizzard, you really like geeky references to popular science fiction films…
  • No Goliaths in multiplayer makes me want to write an angry email to someone.
  • The game is too easy on Normal difficulty setting.
  • Is it just me or is the Queen of Blades kinda hot?
  • The characters are so incredbily clichéd and cheesy you’re left assuming Blizzard did it on purpose to parody sci-fi movies but aren’t quite sure because they play it so straight.
  • Thor’s are freaking awesome (but Arnie should definitely sue).
  • The story is well so sculptured it’s like Blizzard managed to clone the forgotten offspring of Dan Brown, Michael Crichton and Stephen King and get it (it would be a damned monster) to write the thing.
  • It’s a darn-tooting, cotton-picking fine good game.
  • I still don’t get why Battlecruisers are only like four times bigger than a Marine…


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  1. LOL nice list of thoughts, they seem pretty well balanced between negative and positive. Sounds like you’re having a lot of fun, and I admit the good things you describe do make the game sound really fun. But the two bit negatives that really turn me off are no Protoss and Zerg campaigns, and the fact you couldn’t play because the login was down. Seriously, I miss the days of single-player gaming where you didn’t have to worry about that stuff.

  2. rowan says:

    A friend handed me a trial plus the software, but I haven’t a chance to play yet. $60US seems a bit steep for a third of a game. I’m glad it rocks though.

  3. scrusi says:

    Nice points, though I really don’t want to see the lovechild of Dan Brown, Michael Crichton and Stephen King… shudder.

    That said, you can play offline and even continue your campaign if you remember to save your campaign before you log off. You won’t be able to get any achievements though.

  4. Tesh says:

    “When the login was down I couldn’t continue my single player campaign. ”

    This pisses me off to no end. As in, enough not to buy the game unless they change it.

    I do find it funny that Ubisoft gets a ton of crap for something only slightly more annoying (their Assassin’s Creed 2 nonsense on the PC), while Blizzard gets a pass. Hypocrisy, thy name is the Blizzard fanbase.

  5. Jeff M says:

    Great article as usual Gordon. :)

    “•Starting to think Real ID is OK (I know, I know, I’m a sellout).”

    I’m hearing this a lot more lately and that was the original point I was making over at The Company Of The Wolf, folks are finding out it really isn’t the devil, yes there were some really good valid points Like the ones Larissa made over at the pink pigtail Inn, but just as much I think was fear mongering and strong arm tactics because the folks who take advantage of others through anonymity had the most to lose.

    On the other had SOE pretty much proved last week that your anonymity meanstwo things… Jack and shit if a developer decides to come after you.

  6. I had a lot of reservations about SC2… doubting whether I would even play it to begin with. Then the day it came out, my buddy gave me the trial thingy, installed it on my pc while I was at work and it was waiting for me when I got home. I played it for around 4 hours… and went out the next day and bought it without a hesitation. The amazing storyline, clean cut battlenet menu’s and fairly long single player campaign sold it for me. I’m very excited about the next 2 games and even though I’m sad that it was divided into 3 parts… I feel like it was worth every penny.

    Additionally the overall polish of the game gives me a renewed hope that cataclysm will be an amazing game. Was certainly a bit of shock playing the multiplayer for the first time, I never did much of the original SC multiplayer, I feel like I’m starting to get the hang of things.

    • Gordon says:

      I had my reservations too but the joy of the original made me buy it when it came out. I don’t regret the decision for a second. I’ve had a lot of good play from it and the campain was a lot of fun even if it did leave me wanting to move straight onto Zerg and Protoss.

      • Nazza says:

        That’s kindof the point of the campaign. You only want to move on to the next campaign because the first one is so good. They could’ve made it 3 short campaigns, but they decided to make each storyline epic.

  7. Simon says:

    It is a very fully featured game. Like I said, totally worth the money.At the beginning wasn’t so easy but I learned a lot of this from andsee!

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