Cataclysm And Its Virtual Chastity Belt

WoW Cataclysm Box Art

Expect to see this box on the shelves of game stores as soon as 2011

I’ve been getting frustrated with Cataclysm lately. Not with the actual gameplay (because I’m not in the beta and haven’t even tried the darn thing yet) but because I’m being constantly teased with information about it and having it’s pixelated bosom waved in front of my face at every opportunity. It feels like the game is wearing some sort of virtual chastity belt, inviting us to look but not touch. Highly infuriating.

Yeah, I know, I could’ve applied for the beta and be playing it right now but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to save the game and keep the experience wholesome until the big day. Call me old fashioned, call me sentimental, call me whatever you want, but don’t deny that there isn’t something exciting about playing a new game for the first time, it’s secrets totally unspoilt and unrevealed. I’ve ruined plenty of MMOs for myself by playing the betas too much and after my experiences with Aion and Champions Online, made the resolution never to play another one again. Nope, I’m going to bide my time, wait, and play these new MMOs on release as the developer intended them, completely unmarred and without preconception or prejudice. The release date is judgement day, not the weeks before.

I’m a (fairly) patient man and normally waiting for a game to come out wouldn’t be a problem. Except that this time the NDA has been dropped incredibly early and over the past few months I’ve read and seen nothing but floods of information about the Cataclysm beta. A new talent gets added; it gets removed. Damage mitigation gets changed; damage mitigation gets changed back again. Hunter pet’s get a 0.25% buff; buff gets increased to 0.28%. I’m already starting to feel burnt out.

Cataclysm’s like the eternal engagement of marriages, never committing to a wedding day yet still wanting the other party to remain interested. Seriously, it’s time to commit already. And the really annoying thing is that even after two months of NDA-free information it looks like we’ve still got at least another two to go. I can appreciate the need for polish but gosh darnit I think I’m going to explode.

I guess the truly sad part about it all is that Blizzard’s strategy is working. The slow drips of information and build up of hype across every WoW news site on the face of the Internet is causing me to produce hormones at the rate of a horny teenager and write articles relating Cataclysm to virtual chastity belts.

Well played, Blizzard. Well played.

-Gordon

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24 Comments

  1. Tesh says:

    I have a thirty day code for the game that I intend to use when CAT hits, but in the meantime, being all anti-subscription and all, I’m not playing. I’m spending time with Wizard 101 and dabbling in EQ2Ex. Maybe I’ll try LOTROFree when that happens. I’m digging into the Puzzle Pirates community again, taking a few art commissions, playing on their test server (way more fun than “live” servers, and curiously, for a “harder” ocean, I do a lot better there).

    And in the meantime, I’m still working on illustrating a book for my mother and a handful of other art projects. I’m also writing my novel series and illustration book in the interstitial parts of my free time.

    So… yeah. I’m actually sorta excited to fire up a fresh new Paladin in CAT and revisit my favorite Druid, but in the meantime, there’s not a lack of things to do. At least, over here in my ADD-ish world. There have never been so many MMOish options, and there are a LOT of good games I have in my queue (thanks Steam sales!). Heck, I even picked up the FFXI collection for $5 from Steam, and mean to try it out at some point, at least for the box time period.

    It’s a good time to be a PC gamer… but yeah, if WoW is your drug of choice, these can be trying times. Hang in there, mate.

  2. Zahraah says:

    I’m trying to avoid most detailed thing about Cata. Trying to be somewhat pure, yet I need to watch out for any earth shattering changes I will need to address when the game does launch Eg New Talent trees – I am sure though when it does happen. I will be playing on one screen, and reading up on everything that made the final release on my other screen ( very dangerous for a pvp realm) I missed the lead up hype on BC cause I’m started playing just before Bc was released, but the Wrath Hype is still very clear in my head, and nothing beat feeling the grass the under your toes in the borean tundra in the real deal.

    • Gordon says:

      The flow of information is going on too long. The problem is that with the NDA dropped and nothing else to write about, news sites are awash with info on Cataclysm. I prefer not to think about things until close to the release date :P

  3. As you can see from my excitement about a game like SWTOR, I have a tendency to eat up everything I can about something I’m psyched for and needless to say I don’t really care about spoilers. I’m eagerly awaiting for the release of Cataclysm as well, but oddly enough I’ve been keeping away from all the news. Don’t know what it is about this expansion, but so far I’ve avoided all the hands on demos, write ups, preview videos etc. On the other hand, I soaked up all the info for BC and WotLK, maybe it’s time for me to just wait and experience all Cataclysm has to offer when it’s finally out :)

    I already have my sights on the collector’s edition!

  4. rowan says:

    Like Zahraah, I avoid most news about the beta. Too many changes will occur between now and the release that won’t matter in the final version. Things that people may get worked up about won’t even exist when the game hits the shelves. That said, I am definitely buying the collector’s edition just like GeeCee.

  5. Stumps says:

    It’s interesting that you think that it’s a good time to be a PC gamer Tesh, I’m of quite the opposite opinion. PC development is slowing down in favour of console developers and the lack of PC games that aren’t either “expansions” or pre-release pre-orders is dismaying. I know there are some good old’uns about but the slowdown in development for anything other than MMO’s is palpable in my opinion.

    • Tesh says:

      I prowl the indie scene quite a bit, Stumps. There’s a lot there worth experimenting with. If you’re only looking for AAA titles, yeah, it’s a bit of a late summer slump.

    • Gordon says:

      I plan on going back and checking out a lot of games that I missed. I think the current lull in the MMO releases is a good opportunity for it. For instances I have Dawn of War 2 sitting on my desk but still haven’t installed it yet!

  6. Bolder63 says:

    The beta at this point is far from a ‘polish’ phase, there are many systems disabled or NYI. The release of builds seems to be picking up steam and it will get fast and furious soon but I feel that the expansion is going to need every bit of the next 2 months to be release ready.

    Not that I think it will be delayed, Blizzard is always several steps ahead in development and will probably hit the mark for a November release.

  7. [...] and talking about Cataclysm launch I have to agree with Gordons amusing post over at We Fly Spitfires. How and when do Blizzard decide on their leaks? Because if it is scripted then who ever is the [...]

  8. Pitrelli says:

    Hmm im still hoping it will be before blizzcon however I’ve not heard anything about the next patch so yeah probably doubtful.

  9. Bhagpuss says:

    I could care less about Cataclysm, but I share similar feelings on Guild Wars 2.

    I love doing betas, but only for games I’m not certain I will play at launch.

  10. amcl says:

    Got my Cataclysm Beta invitation – it must take cancelling your subscription for them to send it out :-)

    It worked, and I’m looking forward to running it!

  11. Twan says:

    If I was not in BETA I would feel the same way. I am not playing the beta for content………just to track profession changes so I can hit the ground running in order to rape the economy day 1.

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