Cataclysm And Its Virtual Chastity Belt
I’ve been getting frustrated with Cataclysm lately. Not with the actual gameplay (because I’m not in the beta and haven’t even tried the darn thing yet) but because I’m being constantly teased with information about it and having it’s pixelated bosom waved in front of my face at every opportunity. It feels like the game is wearing some sort of virtual chastity belt, inviting us to look but not touch. Highly infuriating.
Yeah, I know, I could’ve applied for the beta and be playing it right now but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to save the game and keep the experience wholesome until the big day. Call me old fashioned, call me sentimental, call me whatever you want, but don’t deny that there isn’t something exciting about playing a new game for the first time, it’s secrets totally unspoilt and unrevealed. I’ve ruined plenty of MMOs for myself by playing the betas too much and after my experiences with Aion and Champions Online, made the resolution never to play another one again. Nope, I’m going to bide my time, wait, and play these new MMOs on release as the developer intended them, completely unmarred and without preconception or prejudice. The release date is judgement day, not the weeks before.
I’m a (fairly) patient man and normally waiting for a game to come out wouldn’t be a problem. Except that this time the NDA has been dropped incredibly early and over the past few months I’ve read and seen nothing but floods of information about the Cataclysm beta. A new talent gets added; it gets removed. Damage mitigation gets changed; damage mitigation gets changed back again. Hunter pet’s get a 0.25% buff; buff gets increased to 0.28%. I’m already starting to feel burnt out.
Cataclysm’s like the eternal engagement of marriages, never committing to a wedding day yet still wanting the other party to remain interested. Seriously, it’s time to commit already. And the really annoying thing is that even after two months of NDA-free information it looks like we’ve still got at least another two to go. I can appreciate the need for polish but gosh darnit I think I’m going to explode.
I guess the truly sad part about it all is that Blizzard’s strategy is working. The slow drips of information and build up of hype across every WoW news site on the face of the Internet is causing me to produce hormones at the rate of a horny teenager and write articles relating Cataclysm to virtual chastity belts.
Well played, Blizzard. Well played.