My Coolest Looking Toons

Tabula Rasa

Beware: Redneck in space

I was rummaging around through my collection of MMO screenshots tonight and had an odd thought: most of my toons have been, y’know, pretty cool looking. I know, I know what your thinking (“but Gordon your awesome and just ooze fashion from every pore so why is this at all surprising to you?”) and yeah, you might be right, but I’m a humble chap and never really considered it before. I just kinda figured my avatars were all plain and dull and never actually appreciated their aesthetic appeal or innate Fonzy-esque style before. But scrolling through all those folders has revealed a few hidden gems of kitsch, unashamed masculine beauty.

My all time favourite toon has to be Miles Mantooth, Redneck adventurer extraordinaire from the MMO Tabula Rasa (RIP) as pictured above. TR had a very underrated character generator and it was actually possible to create a wide variety of characters, most of mine involving dark shades and handle bar moustaches that would put the Village People to shame.

Tabula Rasa Screenshot

The gun shows he's tough; the specs show he's sensitive

As much as I love World of Warcraft, I’ve always been a bit annoyed by it’s restrictive character creator and the fact that I can’t make the unusual types of faces I’ve always preferred. Everquest 2 boasted one of the best editors of its time (remember the game is six years old today!) and the ability it offered to customise the structure of your face was unprecedented. I am particularly fond of my Bruiser’s hooked nose and general grumpy disposition.

EQ2 Bruiser

I particularly liked how you could age your character in EQ2 - check out this guy's wrinkly skin

My favourite character creators though have always been the ones that let me alter my toon’s body shape and make him chubby. I’ll say this, if you ever want to make sure your avatar looks unique, make them fat as hell as nobody, I absolutely guarantee it, will copy you.

Age of Conan - Conqueror

This toon's girth just adds to his majesty

I was able to make fantastic toons in Age of Conan and to this day I still think it’s the most beautiful MMO there is. I’ve always managed to create avatars who somehow manage to convey real character and seem to be filled with a melancholy that really suits the lore of the game.

Age of Conan - Khitan

If you ever saw a naked guy running around Hyboria flexing his pecks, chances are it was me

My strange fascination with aging, balding men doesn’t end with AoC though and I recently enjoyed creating this monstrosity in LOTRO F2P. I particularly love the wrinkles under the eyes and the slight hint of grey in the moustache.


Baldness is a sign of virility apparently

Would you let him tank for your group?

On a sadder note, I’ve lost so many of my old screenshots from ancient MMOs and it’s a real shame. I regret not making more back-ups of them on regular occasions. I had some fantastic screens from games like Dark Age of Camelot and Star Wars Galaxies that I’d do anything to get back, even just for the memories if nothing else.

Everquest Warrior

He wears a very odd expression on his face to say the least

The chap above is my Warrior, Tyromere, from Everquest. I role played him as a narcissistic metrosexual which generated a few laughs (as was the point).

I suppose in an odd way my toons are a lot like me: charming, devilishly handsome, brimming with machismo and, where the technology facilitates, a bugling gut (my wife calls it fat; I call it “winter reserve”).

Now that I’ve shown you mine, it’s time for you to show me yours. Drop a comment or fire me an email if you’ve got any toons you want to show off.


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  1. Tesh says:

    “bugling gut”? Sounds… socially awkward.

  2. Bronte says:

    Tyromere, the emo warrior?

    Hahaha, that last one is priceless!

  3. amcl says:

    What? No female characters ;-)

  4. Yaggle says:

    Your characters do exude a definite awesomeness. You have a good sense of style in my opinion.

  5. Isey says:

    With your obvious love of ‘Mantooth’, slightly disappointed that none of your toons show teeth. Of course, that is a stereotypical Brit phenomenon *wink*.

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