My MMO Birthday Wish List

Dark Tower Comic

The announcement of a Dark Tower MMO would make me cry and pee myself at precisely the same time

It’s my birthday this month and considering there isn’t much in left in terms of actual ‘real’ stuff that I want (although I wouldn’t say no to either an iPad or a shiny new Samsung R590 laptop if anyone in my family is reading) I decided I would compile a fantasy list of all of the MMO related things I’d wish they do. So please, Baby Jesus, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, if you’re listening, for my birthday I want…

Let Me Actually Fly My Ship In EVE

Seriously. Why the heck can’t we truly fly our own ships? Picking waypoints and targets and maneuvering around them is all fine and dandy but there comes a time in every man’s life when he just wants to grab a fricking joystick and fly the damn ship himself. And yes, I’m thinking Riker in Insurrection here too.

Revamp The Character Models In LOTRO

‘Cause they are truly gangly and ugly and it puts me off playing the game. Stylised graphics are all very well but disproportionate dimensions freak me out.

Let Me Play Anarchy Online Through A Browser

I miss Anarchy Online a lot. Not enough to download the game files and install it though but enough to make me feel nostalgic and wish I could satisfy my urge to play via a quick 15 min sessions in a browser tab.

Give Me Everquest 3. Now.

I know it’s coming but I want it right now. I can’t wait, I really can’t.

Force My Old EQ2 Guild To Play WoW

I know, I know, they utterly detest WoW and I’m sure no longer have any smidgen of respect left for me for leaving EQ2 to play it but I still miss them and can’t help but imagine how great the game would be if I actually had some decent company to play it with.

Give Me A Dark Tower MMO

Who wouldn’t love a Dark Tower MMO? It would have to a sandbox or something and all gloomy and dark, set during the downfall of Gilead and sure, absolutely everyone want to play be a Gunslinger but it would be utterly awesome. Ah just kennit, sai.


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  1. Naithin says:

    Agree strongly with everything on your list ‘cept I’m pretty much the reverse on the EQ2 -> WoW point, I wouldn’t mind my WoW guild moving over to EQ2 for a bit of a change of scenery.

    Also haven’t read the Dark Tower series yet; I know it’s finally all done now, but I’d been warned off by a friend over just how long it was taking to write them. “I read Martin, I’m sure I’ll be-”
    “No, it’s worse than Martin!”

    That pretty much convinced me. :P Got a lot on my reading plate at the moment, but wouldn’t mind getting around to them eventually.

    In addition, I would add I would like to see:
    Anarchy Online 2 — Updated graphics engine, but otherwise retain as much of the feel of original AO as possible. Please!
    Asheron’s Call 3 (or 1.5) — Give AC1 AC2’s graphics engine, and retain the same gameplay of AC1! Also update to better support mouse input to the game. My hope for these things died long ago, but the desire never did!

    Those two are my most favoured MMOs of all time; seeing them with a new layer of polish and shine yet otherwise being left well enough alone would give me the same reaction that a Dark Tower MMO would to you. ;)

    I know it’s not a particularly realistic hope, but ah well.

  2. leah says:

    updated lotro (and DnD cause lets face it – its all basically the same models) character models – oh god, yes, please. the only race I cane play in Lotro for any length of time is haflings, because their run is not as horrible as that of humans or elves. :( I cannot stick with DnD at all, even though I love the concept, between character models and too brown color scheme, its just… blah.

  3. Everyone always says that about the LOTRO character models, but I actually don’t think they’re so bad! But maybe I’m just distracted from them by the gorgeous environment. The thing I can’t stand though is how my hobbit runs, how her hands are clenched up and flayed out to the sides. I don’t mean to be politically incorrect and all, but dammit I run like a girl!

    And LOL, I just now read leah’s comment above mine, which makes it even funnier.

  4. Bhagpuss says:

    Persuade your old EQ2 guild to move to Rift!

  5. Chordian says:

    I think the Dark Tower series need to be a more popular and recognizable brand than it is now for it to become an MMORPG. Ron Howard is working on a TV show and movie franchise and that could lift it up there, but I have a bad feeling about him as a director after those Dan Brown movies.

    My personal dream is a time-traveling MMORPG. You could have all sorts of genres all rolled into one with this idea. Go back in time to a fantasy setting (where technology is not allowed but magic is) or go forward to a sci-fi setting with spaceships and laser guns. But producing it would probably be a nightmare.

  6. The Necromancer says:

    Dear Mr. Gordon,

    You do realize only 5 and 6 are absolutely possible (5 with a bit of begging and bribery). The rest are probable and some are simply impossible (especially EQ3).

    I remember you mention starting a Warhammer Miniatures army I totally want to see that happen (maybe start a blog about that) I would absolutely recommend it. It is an investment but I believe it’s totally worth it (if your into such things). You could either play a Fantasy game of Warhammer Fantasy Battles or a futuristic Warhammer 40,000 or even Lord of the Rings Strategy Battle Game (or maybe War of the Ring). There are so many choices you could go with this hobby. Please consider it.

    Yours Sincerely,
    Sauron the Necromancer

    • Gordon says:

      I am actually very seriously considering taking up Warhammer 40k. The only thing that’s putting me off is the initial cost outlay and probably the time factor. I’m worried I’ll fork out a ton of cash and then never get round to painting the models or playing the game.

  7. slowthought says:

    I regard the creation of a dreadlocked dwarf with a grey Pilgrim beard as a personal success. But overall, LOTRO characters could be better.

  8. Epiny says:

    I agree with everything you asked for Gordon.

    @ Sauron
    I’m not sure a Miniatures army is really “worth” the cost. Those little guys get expensive fast. I have probably $400 in unpainted armies in my closet. I think I managed painting 3 Orcs completely and 12 Sisters of Battle + 1 Canoness.

    • The Necromancer says:

      It’s just a suggestion and anyway, we have already had a minor talk about it, it’s just an idea for him if he wants to start a Miniatures army or not. You don’t buy so much at once, start off with a battleforce or battalion only for $100 (wow the price went up), and it will provide you with entertainment for quite a while.

      Seriously some of his wishes are a bit unrealistic, don’t you agree with me?

      I don’t care if you listen to me or think my idea is stupid, it’s just an opinion no reason get so worked up.

      • Epiny says:

        I wasn’t getting worked up… perhaps smiley faces would have been better because I was meerly making a joke at the “woth it” part and not the fun. Painting is fun, but for what you get GWS is screwing you on prices.

        As for what Gordon wants, I wouldn’t call them unrealistic wishes, but unlikely. I wouldn’t at all be surprised at an EQ3. EQ2 has a funky down load trial that is almost like playing it in the browser, so AO in a browser is possible, just very unlikely.

        A LOTRO/D&D char remodel seems more and more likely if they really are showing a major revenue increase from going F2P. I don’t think EVE is going to change the ship design, though I think it would be a great idea. We will see how popular Black Prophecy is since that is sort of a arcadish EVE.

        A Dark Tower MMO would be cool in theory but like all great IPs the developer would destroy it. The best MMOs are the ones where the developers create the IP so it leaves them free reign over altering the IP, lore, and characters to fit in with balance and fun.

      • Gordon says:

        I don’t think Epiny was getting worked up. Don’t worry :)

    • Gordon says:

      Yeah the cost puts me off. The starting game + basic paint pack roll in at £75. That’s quite a lot of fork out in one go.

  9. Bronte says:

    Wow, finally someone else who has read the whole series. One of my favorite series of all time, minus the self and Harry Potter references.

    And yes, an MMO based on TDT would be phenomenal, there is just so many locations in that world, and so much to work with, you just can’t go wrong.

    Regarding flying your own ship: satisfy that craving via Jumpgate Evolution or Black Prophecy?

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