I Like Big Swords
I can just imagine my Dad face palming as soon as he reads this headline. Oh how proud he must be of his well educated son who now spends his evenings coming up with childish innuendos and sexual euphemisms to write blog posts about. Still, if you’re having dirty thoughts then they’re probably your own as I’m being deadly serious. When I play MMOs I immediately pick melee classes and then go out of my way to find the biggest, meanest looking sword I can possibly find in order to proceed smacking the living daylights out of everything whilst giggling with glee. Does that make me weird? That was a rhetorical question by the way.
I don’t know why I have such an infatuation with large weapons of destruction. Maybe it’s a male compensation thing? Maybe it’s a slightly psychotic thing? Maybe it’s due to my Scottish heritage and growing up with the image of Highlanders lugging five foot claymores into battle? Yeah, let’s go with that one. Regardless, I always pick the MMO classes that allow me to satisfy my slightly disturbing urge. The Berserker was my favourite class in Everquest, I loved the Fury Warrior spec in WoW purely due to the ability to dual wield two handed swords (why don’t more games let you do this?!), I played a Herald of Xotli in Age of Conan and thought it was the most original and awesome thing ever, and now I’m thoroughly enjoying the Champion class in RIFT.
Of course there’s something quite intoxicating about playing traditional fantasy roles that let you wield these monstrous excuses for blades as well. Usually they are characters that run head first into battle, physically overwhelming their opponents with little or no thought as to their own safety. For me, there’s something incredibly visceral and satisfying about this image perhaps because it’s such a countenance to my mild-mannered, controlled and sophisticated self. Perhaps deep down I just yearn to tear off the shackles of society and run free with my brothers, wild and untamed.
Or maybe I’ve just got a Freudian thing about size.