I’ve been banging my head against a wall for the past week now with macros and addons in World of Warcraft. I’ve been programming for 10 years, hold a first class degree in Computer Science, and used to build levels for Doom using DCK, a DOS-based sector editor that required a degree in Astrophysics to master (I was widely considered a child prodiogy after I developed my third level) yet somehow, for the love of Tim Berners-Lee, I can’t get my bloody macros to work.
I loved the DCK book when I was 12. In fact, I got caught loving it once and was asked to leave the library.
I keep flipping between the thought that I’m either trying to be too smart and perform actions and just aren’t possible with the macro system or that I’m a complete retard who can’t fathom the most basic of commands that even spotty 14 year olds employ to annihilate me in Battlegrounds. Is there some secret cult of Macro Magicians out there that I don’t know about who lurk in the shadows, teaching those able to find them the unholy secrets for knocking 1.2 seconds off their response time, granting them the winning edge in an already unbalanced PvP system? If so, I hope to God I can find them.
Macros in WoW are a truly silly affair. They don’t offer anything substantial and just tease us with the prospect of being able to power ourselves up and cut down the inane amount of hot keys we already have. Macros are the programming language equivalent of a lap dance – offering just enough to get us worked up but not complete enough to give us what we really want. After battling with them for a few hours I find I need to go bury myself in some real code in order to satisfy that (slightly worrying) itch.
Then, of course, on the other side of the coin come the addons. Third party scripts and bits of software designed to simplify the game to utter redundancy and ineptitude. No wonder people complain World of Warcraft is too easy. Install Tauntmaster and it will render all of your skill at tanking obsolete, turning the entire thing into a game of “click the shiny button when it turns red”. My Grandma could do that and she doesn’t even know what a shiny button is.
What happened to the purity of our games? Why can’t we just leave them be and play them as they come? I’ll tell you why (not that you were asking): auto-condimentation. We’re so used to piling on the salt and extra cheese that we forget to taste our food before we do it. And let’s not forget the concept that maybe the Chef served us the meal exactly how he wanted us to enjoy it. Macros are salt, addons are tomato ketchup and they’re ruining the fine dining of our games. And yes, I just equated World of Warcraft to fine dining, feel free to crucify me for it, I offer no excuses.
I don’t care if a macro can allow me to use a single button to switch between stances or cast the stance appropriate spell. I don’t care that addons let me see everyones threat per second or their gear score or what underwear they’re wearing. I hate them all.
P.S. Apart from QuestHelper. That one rocks.